October 14, 2013

Broccoli and cheese stuffed crescent rolls! Delicious!

Ingredients (makes 8 rolls):

1 tube Big & Flaky crescent rolls

Shredded cheddar cheese

Frozen broccoli florets

Instructions:

1. Place cheese in freezer at least 15 minutes before you begin. 

2. Preheat oven to 350. 

3. Separate the crescent rolls into 8 pre-cut triangles. 

4. Place 2-3 small broccoli florets on the wide side of each triangle.

5. Place a pinch of cheddar cheese on the wide side (same place where you already put the broccoli). You can add as much cheese as you like. I'm a cheese person, so I added as much as I could fit. (You can also add other kinds of cheese if you desire. I also put a little bit of mozzarella in with the cheddar.)

6. Roll up each crescent roll. Make sure to seal the sides by pinching openings together. If you don't seal the sides, cheese will ooze out while cooking!

7. Press a small amount of cheddar cheese onto the top of each roll. 

8. Bake the rolls on an ungreased cookie sheet for about 12-15 minutes or until golden brown. 

Enjoy!!

October 13, 2013

I'm so annoyed. Here's the quick recap and I'll explain more when Chloe goes to bed

Friday: I didn't have my daughter. Ty had an incident at work so he had to stay late. 

Saturday: Ty, Mikayla, my daughter, and I were supposed to go to sunny acres but it rained. I took my daughter to the DuPage Children's Museum. Ty didn't show. Mikayla was in ER at night. 

Sunday: Waiting on Ty all day. He never showed.  

October 10, 2013

Tyler is seriously perfect. I seriously wish I would have had a baby with him instead of Brandon. At least if it didn't work out we'd both be paid for. He's perfect and amazing and I'm so in love with him. Here was his text to me last night:

 I'm serious. I seriously lost faith in the whole love and marriage thing. And I mean I tried so hard to make it work with mikaylas mom. Not because I wanted to but because I felt that was what was right. I'd do whatever it took to make Mikayla happy and I'd do anything for her. I thought that's what she would of wanted. Maybe I'm just crazy but idk. You just popped into my life and it was almost like you had always been there. You came and just so effortlessly took my heart. You truly are everything I was looking for. And I think you having your daughter helped that a lot. Because most girls our age def arnt ready for that stuff. And having issues with your ex like I do.. Idk. I have no idea what I'm trying to say. I'm prolly just not making sense. Basically. I don't thing god himself could of made someone more perfect for me. And you say your a package deal like it's suppose to scare me or be a bad thing. Your crazy. I have no idea how your daughter will feel but I would do anything for her as well and I wouldn't treat her any different then if she was mine. ( not saying I want to be her dad. I know she has one and I hope/ want them to have an amazing relationship... She deserves that) just idk. And I know how much of an amazing mother you are. And I know you'd be the same with my little monster. Which as you know is huge. You just make me feel like I won the lottery. But instead of money. I got the perfect love 

I thought it was so cute! Here was my response:

I just read your text and I love it! I completely lost faith in the whole love and marriage thing too. I went through so much physical, emotional and verbal abuse for so long with my ex and I was just so unhappy and depressed. And when he proposed it was the worst day of my life. I felt like I was going to be trapped and miserable forever. But finally my daughter gave me the strength to get out of that relationship. I'm so lucky that I had my dad through that because he would see me just sobbing and he would just hug me and tell me that it was going to be ok. And I didn't believe him at the time because I was so broken down and hurt but now I see that he was right. Everything is ok..well actually way better than ok! Do I feel guilty that I walked away from my daughter's dad? Yes of course because it's not fair to her to have parents that aren't together. Like right before I started talking to you, her dad was begging me to take him back so I stupidly did and we got in a fight I don't even remember about what but I just remember I was sitting there with my daughter and then he started screaming at the top of his lungs and I kept telling him to stop and then he got right in my face like an inch away screaming and saying all this terrible stuff and I was just hugging Chloe to my chest and crying for him to stop acting crazy and then he backed me into the corner while I was still like squeezing my baby onto me and just completely bawling and screaming 'stop stop' and he was basically about to beat the shit out of me and I wasn't even scared for me but I was deathly afraid for my daughter. Thank god my mom got home right as that was happening and when she heard me screaming and crying she came and basically saved me and her. But those are the memories that I'm haunted by. I still have nightmares about it all the time. I even started crying just thinking about it. I'm just so happy that I found you and that you can take me out of that. I mean obviously fights and disagreements happen but stuff like that never should. I think that even though our girls don't have their parents together the next best thing is for them to have a happy family. They're so little that they won't remember any of the fighting and custody stuff but they'll grow up in a happy and healthy home. If that makes any sense at all. But I feel like I'm way more mature for my age like I completely agree most girls are not ready for kids yet but also most guys aren't ready for kids yet either! I think it helps that we have daughters that are basically the same age because we totally understand that about each other. And I would do anything for mikayla. I wouldn't want to overstep boundaries but I would do anything for you and her. And I know you'd do the same for my baby girl. I don't want you to be her dad but I want you to basically be kinda like her second dad. Like I really want you to be a positive male role model for her and just be supportive (not financially) and love her :) that would be like a dream come true! I love you babe and I know my daughter would love you too!

So that is why I am completely in love with him. I think those paragraph texts speak for themselves. 

October 9, 2013

I am exhausted. 

I had to take my daughter to the immediate care center yesterday because she was really congested and she had a nasty cough. Long story short - she has croup. Idon't know  anything about it but from what I understand it's basically congestion in the lungs. She got prescribed a steroid medication to help her breathe.  

October 7, 2013

Hello Lovelies!

Ty texted me this morning. He said he was in the hospital all night. He said he had the flu and breathing problems. I believe it. The next time I see him in person I have to let him know it bothers me that he doesn't text me back. 

It just dawned on me that it's been exactly one month since I became his official girlfriend. This month has been the happiest I've been in a long time. 

My daughter's dad is on his way over now. I'm so torn about what I want. Tyler makes me happy in every way, but her dad has been different lately...or maybe it just seems like he's been different bc I haven't given a shit about what he does. I love him but I'm not in love with him. 

I just want the answer and know 100% who I should choose. I'm just waiting for one of them to prove themselves to me or for my heart to make up its mind (which will never ever happen). 

Chloe finally fell asleep. Now it's time to make pizza, brownies, do laundry and pop in a movie. 

Goodnight! 

💋 C

October 6, 2013

Where do I begin...

I want to be a housewife. I am in love. Tyler says that he loves me too, but there are always excuses why he can't see me. The first excuse was that he got beat up at work and had to go to the hospital. The next excuse was that his daughter was in the hospital. Then there was drama with his baby mama. Then there was the day that his brother ran away and his friend tried to commit suicide. Now this weekend he says he's sick and is going to the hospital now. I really truly with all my heart want to believe him, but it's a lot and I've been hurt so many times in the past from being gullible and believing the lies and excuses that I was told. Sometimes I wish I could just jump ahead like 5 or 10 years so that I could be married with all my kids, have a house, my career in place and be happy. I know I will get to that place at some point, but I have a long way to go. 

The thing that's so hard for me is whether or not to believe Tyler. So far all of his excuses seem realistic. He's a cop so he could have got hurt on the job. Plus he told me the story multiple times and the details were all spot on. I technically have no proof that Mikayla was in the hospital, but I hope to god that he wouldn't lie about his daughter being sick! That is the most messed up thing a parent can do! I believe that he had baby mama drama and I have no reason to question it because I have enough drama of my own and he puts up with it. I know his friend really tried to commit suicide because I saw the pictures of his cuts and I heard his desperate voicemails. I don't know for sure if his brother ran away, but I am riding on hope. He came over later that week and he seemed really upset and concerned so... I'm going to believe it. The hospital today seems like a stretch. I understand I'm being a bitch and I'm also being really selfish. It just hurts because he's been super MIA and all I want is to see him and spend time with him. 

Maybe it's my fault. I feel like I'm being too available. Maybe I just need to back off and make him chase me. Guys like the chase right? What if he doesn't chase me? I guess that'll be the real test. The fact of the matter is I can't not text him back when I see his name on my phone and I can't not think about him. Seriously I'm completely in love with him. I haven't felt love like this since Erik, but with Erik it took me a while  to fall for him. He said I love you right away. I said it back, but it took me a while to actually feel it. With Tyler I fell so hard so fast! That has absolutely never happened for me before. I am such a horrible person for admitting his but this is the first time that I really loved someone when I told them I loved them for the first time. I am so happy and I feel like he could be the one. 

How do I make him talk to me more? How do I make him see me more? He says he wants me to move in with him and he says he wants me to marry him. I love him for saying those things but I want to know that he really means it and he's not just saying it.

Sometimes I wonder if he has some other girl and I'm just the girl on the side. I doubt it but my mind likes to wonder and I get paranoid about things like this because I've been cheated on and I have cheated on people.

I have always been the girl to have multiple boyfriends at once. I hope to god that this isn't my karma. Please dear god don't let this just be karma. I am going to be so hurt. He is such an amazing person. Maybe I just need to calm down and take it slow. Maybe that's why none of my other relationships worked: because I fall for people quick and things go too fast. At least I waited to have sex with him. I waited a few weeks. I was very proud of myself and I think he respected me for making him wait. At least, I hope so!! I want him to meet my daughter, but if he keeps flaking on me I have to wait. I think I should wait until Christmas. That's a solid 6 months after we started talking and 3 months since we started dating. I don't want to get hurt, but I'd get hurt millions of times before I exposed her to getting hurt. I don't want her to get attached to him and then have him disappointment her. Disappointment is the worst feeling in the world and I will do anything to protect my daughter from that. 

Alright, lovelies, it's getting late and I still have to do laundry...eww. Goodnight 💋